Friday, January 8

A part of me tells me to hold on my grip and don't let go , keep moving on while another side of me breaking down into pieces . You see I'm torn with things i ought to make decision . Like how i always wants things to be perfect . My friends says i have OCD but i admit sometimes i guess i do have - a l.i.t.t.l.e . In a way its bad too , it means that i don't have confidence in myself. Everything is so frustrating now , probably is not just me in the teen world , feeling all so messed up . I guess its the process of growing up . or maybe its my girly girls hormones thingy ? huh ? what ?

Anyway ,

Ballet trials is next week and i barely know my steps . Hey its not that i haven't been working hard on it , i do pay attention in class , FYI we just learned the steps in less than a month time or two , minus the holidays ? and the other random days that i cant make it? Plus 12 hours down KL for intern by the time i come back I'm already half dead and then i had to rush straight to ballet , my mind wont be thinking straight due to all the rushing worryingwhetherwillireachontime, notsittingstillinthecarcauseihavetotiemyhair and eatsomethingorelsei'llfaint , go figure out yourself what i just typed . Even if my body and mind is not exhausted my legs are , hello . i walk alot . No , let me rephrase , i HAD to walk .

Ergh , i hate this feeling . This getting fed-up-of-everything-feeling .
Its like some sort of disease breaking my "staying strong walls" apart
Damn you mood swing

Now i cant wait till CNY , then to genting this sat . Probably do some shopping with my mom, help her release stress too and by MARCH , interns over neither is my ballet exam and ballet classes .Yes ! By then i can finally focus on ONE thing in my life for the first time. Bah i guess there's other minor stuff too prolly another part time job . Stepping a gigantic step to my career . There's so much to learn . So freakin much . I cant miss out anything !

signing out , have a nice day peeps