Void inside my chest

Such intense chunk of pain that rips part of you silently and those unexpressed feelings burried deep down comes forth uprise in such ugly ways i became a stranger to myself . The moment that my mind keep replaying scenes of flashback , chasing on memories that leads to no where and i have no idea why doesn't it go away , letting go wasn't even an option or probably i just didn't have the guts to let it go . Somehow it got stained there like i got so use to it and they say time could heal but is time that got me so use to it , i pretend that i'm fine , its like - i'm fine . Yaw know shit happens .

I just had to let this out of my chest , here on the blog considering its already flood with emofied post , i didnt wanna go all boohoo crash on someone chest then sob like a crybaby which i kinda did out of random moments . Man . Those tears were raw emotions that no one is there to catch each drop and magnified actual ache that i have inside . Its like a black hole manifest and just grabs whole of my spirals down my spine then drowning me inside with everything i hate in multiple directions . I just wanna end this piece of shit but i cant find no rope pulling me away from slappin waves in my tear ducts .

From this reality , melt into this dark horizon then rise up like a cloud and float away, dissolve somewhere far . One day ,  I will find the right words and they will be simple . I guess , the heck what am i even typing , im asking all the wrong whys and i never get to figure out the whys and here - comes that feelings you have forgotten . Love - Such complex shit to be involve . Whoever says is simple - total bullshit .